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The Hotel Manager Was Not Accepting Her Excuses. Then She Paid. Oh ...


An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by Staying overnight in an expensive hotel. When she checked out next Morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250..00. She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high.


“It’s a Nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight Stay! I didn’t even have breakfast.” The clerk told her that $250.00 is The ‘standard rate’, so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

 

The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: “This Hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are Available for use.” “But I didn’t use them,” she said. ”Well, they are Here, and you could have,” explained the manager.


He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel Shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from the World over performing here,” the Manager said. “But I didn’t go to any of Those shows,” she said.


“Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied. No matter What amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, “But I didn’t use it!” and The Manager countered with his standard response. After several minutes Discussion with the Manager unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and Gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.


“But madam, this check is for only $50.00.” “That’s correct. I charged You $200.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied. “But I didn’t!” exclaims the very surprised Manager.


“Well, too bad, I Was here, and you could have.” Don’t mess with Senior Citizens !!!

Viralfunnyjokes: HOW TO MAKE A PIE

 


HOW TO MAKE A PIE


Viralfunnyjokes: WHO IS THIS GUY

WHO IS THIS GUY 



There Was A Big Old Pecan Tree Just Inside The Cemetery Fence.


 On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.

One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

“One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,” said one boy.

Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle.

As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.

Sure enough, he heard,

“One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ….”

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend, he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

“Come here quick,” said the boy,

“you won’t believe what I heard! The Devil and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!”

The man said,

“Beat it, kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.” When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard,

“One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”

The old man whispered,

“Boy, you’ve been tellin’ me the truth. Let’s see if we can see the Lord…?”

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything.

The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last, they heard,

“One for you, one for me. That’s all. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence and we’ll be done.”

The old man beat the boy to the gate.

Viralfunnyjokes: Teacher Asks A Shocking Question To The Class. But What Happens Next ls Gold.



The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”


Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”


Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”


The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”


Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”


Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.


“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”

Three virgin sisters were all getting married within a short time period.


Three virgin sisters were all getting married within a short time period.

Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to

send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on their first impressions of marital sex.


The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.

The card said nothing but: "Nescafe".

Puzzled at first Mum went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.

It said: "Great from beginning to end".

Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.


The second girl sent the card from the Maldives a week after the wedding and the card read: "Rothmans".

Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes to read from the pack: "Super strong King Size".

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.. the third girl departed for her honeymoon in New Zealand.


Mum waited for a week,

Nothing.

Another week went by and still nothing.

A month passed; still nothing.

A card finally arrived from Auckland on which was written with shaky hand, "Air New Zealand ".

Mum took out her latest travel magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst and finally found the ad for Air NZ.

'Ten times a day, seven days a week, in all directions.'😂

Viralfunnyjokes: The Mommy Test


The Mommy Test


I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.

Viralfunnyjokes: The Smart Irishman



An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness.

Laugh of the day: Don’t mess with senior citizens!


An elderly lady decided to celebrate her 70th birthday by spending the night in an expensive hotel. When she left the next morning, the receptionist gave her a $250.00 bill. She exploded and wanted to know why the charge was so high.

Viralfunnyjokes: Little Johnny wanted to sit next to one of his teachers at lunch.


Little Johnny wanted to sit next to one of his teachers at lunch.

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